Sunday, October 14, 2012

In Which I Welcome All with Open Arms and Slimy Silly Bands


So John Green reblogged the TFIOS video I made last night (which I still have yet to post on here along with an in-depth review maybe possibly) and then all of the sudden people acknowledged my existence on the internet. I am extraordinarily excited. Hopefully all of the hype doesn't die out in a few days, because I'd really love to have a bigger audience than two or three people and share my opinions and videos with people on a larger scale than my girlfriend and my US History Class.

Thanks to everyone who watched and gave feedback and followed/subscribed/whatever. I hope to start making videos regularly every weekend when I can, so I hope you guys stick around. 

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Teh Spritz Nipper


The Weather Man came out in 2005, making it an extremely awkward movie to review given that it isn't old enough to be something nostalgic but is still completely irrelevant in the scheme of things. But, fuck it, I just watched it, so here is my review below: 


What makes Gore Verbinski’s The Weather Man a gem is the fact that it puts forth almost no effort whatsoever to glamorize the true shit of American life – a ballsy move for a Hollywood movie in a world where mainstream audiences have formed a dependency to some kind of dressing in order to be able to maintain an intrigue into what’s happening onscreen.

Cinema is a powerful tool in that, when used correctly, it allows for people to immerse themselves into different worlds that they aren’t familiar with. Denying this would be to deny the very reason people went to the movies in the first place. But too many filmmakers and audiences feel that this means an appreciation for the life that we’re all familiar with just isn’t going to cut it. This is probably the reason why The Weather Man received such mixed reception – it was literally just a movie about life.

The film takes us through Nicolas Cage’s mid-life crisis as a Chicago weatherman named Dave Spritz, struggling to pull his family together just as he receives a job offer for the esteemed “Hello America” morning show in New York. The bulk of the film is subjective to Spritz, voiceover by Nicolas Cage often being used to pull us through the narrative.

The whole film itself is admittedly risky. The entire narrative is done in such a way that it would be extraordinarily easy to fail at connecting with and investing anything in the main character and then spending the rest of the film detached and uninterested, but there is enough of a combined investment in the character by Nic Cage and Gore Verbinski that it can’t help but be contagious.

The brand of humor is equally as risky, emerging throughout the film as some strange synthesis of dry subtly and blunt crassness. The funny moments don’t so much offer to distract or relieve as much as induce dark chuckles within the bleakness. This couples well with overall quirkiness of the filmmaking, allowing neither the comedy nor the drama to seem unnatural or poorly-blended.

The performances aren’t bad, though nothing particularly notable is accomplished by anyone besides Cage and Michael Caine (his American accent might need a bit of work, though). The score by Hans Zimmer is equally as quirky as the filmmaking, showing a particularly interesting sense of innovation that would make it difficult to recognize him as the man behind it if you didn’t already know. The editing is excellent and works well with the cinematography, both of which core elements in the resulting tone of the film.

Cage manages to sum up the entire film in his very first scene: “refreshing.” It’s refreshing to see a film out of Hollywood with balls of something indie and an undeniable synthesis between technical and narrative elements that just make the entire thing work. It’s quirky, it’s bleak, and there’s no glamorization about it, but all of the elements involved manage to pull the film together and keep it comfortably strung in a way that Dave Spritz unfortunately cannot seem to do with his own shit life. 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

In Which I Muse Over Self Esteem and Laziness

I feel like going around all day telling everyone that every artistic or creative piece of work I came forward with in the past 24 hours (a whopping two) was a fucking worthless piece of shit that deserved to be vacuum sealed into a plastic bag the size of a small cracker tin and burned in a conventional toaster oven gave people the impression that I have self-esteem issues. I personally counter this sentiment with the recognition that I put forth little to no effort into either of those two projects, resulting in my acceptance that they were combustibly sub-par and thus worthless in my own mind because I didn't finish them with complete confidence in what I was trying to do with them.

We had a project due in Creative Writing class today, and I had originally typed up a cute little page of prose for the assignment fitting for a village hillside (actually it was dripping with atheism so I guess it wasn't that cute), but during the seconds before class actually started I had a complete artistic breakdown and decided I didn't want to turn it in.

So I got to class and wrote a shit five-stanza poem literally on my way to the printer and came back to the knowledge that we were going to spend the entire rest of class going through the most in-depth peer analysis on this particular project that we had ever done in the class thus fire. Fuck me, I thought (though I usually am thinking that regardless), and I spent the rest of class kicking myself internally for not spending more time on the project and assuring that I was proud of it before subjecting it to the entire class for intense analysis and judgement.

I mean people seemed to like it. Honestly I don't really think they cared very much. But when we were all reflecting on the feedback we'd gotten I decided to honestly explain my plight to the entire class and they all ended up thinking I had a severe self-esteem deficiency and was going to go home and pound my head against the microwave door.

The same happened with the Samuel Adams video I just posted. I told everyone how bad I thought it was simply because I hadn't spent enough time or effort on it to be proud of what I had accomplished with it. I just feel the need to clarify that feeling apprehensive about something people are going to take seriously with the knowledge that you put more effort into estimating the even distribution of milk and cereal in your breakfast bowl that morning than you did on the project itself is entirely different than practically driving yourself into psychosis working on something to the point where nothing else you could do could improve it in your own mind and yet still hating it relentlessly.

Or maybe I just do have a self esteem problem.

Sam Adams Did More Than Just Give Alcoholism a Face


I think this video will prove to be the last time I allow myself to start a video at 9PM and finally get to bed around 2AM with school the next day. I say this because it was one of the most potent examples of the absolute epitome of fucking misery I have probably ever experienced while making a video. I just kept telling myself that it was supposed to be a labor of love, but that love is almost entirely absent from this particular end result.

Regardless, here is probably the only video biography of Samuel Adams that exists readily on the internet. I keep telling everyone how terrible it is but no one believes me and then they give me really positive feedback. How fucking dare they.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Back in the Day Things Happened and Thus Did the United States

I made something educational and completely free of crude language/metaphors.

If at first I don't succeed as a video blogger, I see no reason why I shouldn't try for the educational crowd. With that sentiment in mind, I introduce my US History videos. I made these specifically for my US History class, so they are completely appropriate content-wise for the high school learning environment. 

Unfortunately I was tit-shivering idiot and decided to make a completely separate YouTube account for them, and if you've ever familiarized yourself with GoogleTube, you know just how much of a bitch that can make things. I might upload them onto purplewagon at some point in the future.

Until then, enjoy these videos on The Enlightenment and The Great Awakening. I'm planning on having another one done by Thursday, and I might even get to another video blog with my free weekend. Woo.

Why Tumblr Should Die


I feel a bit badly about how I portrayed Tumblr in this video. Truthfully, all of my negative feelings toward it stem from my inner anxiety about sexual equality on the internet - something that is more or less a phenomenon in society and not actually anything that's completely Tumblr's fault. I mean, yes, the general community on Tumblr actively participates in male objectification (consciously or not), but that shouldn't be the main reason I verbally destroy the site itself. Every internet site that involves people is going to have its sect of fucking idiots. 

That being said, I don't necessarily hate Tumblr. I hate some of the things people begin to use it for, but that's like saying I hate French vanilla frappuccino-scented candles because you could use a lit one to burn down an orphanage. 

I suppose I was conscious of my apprehension to wail mercilessly on Tumblr with a golf club when I initially made the video because of the bit at the end in which I bluntly and provocatively say that I "hate" Tumblr and "it should die" and then transition right into a promo for my own Tumblog before ending the video. Because that would cause you to wonder if the entire thing was just supposed to be satirical and give me the option to say so if confronted with criticism, effectively expressing my opinion while stripping away all potential accountability. You should try that the next time you're on the internet. It's a glorious technique.

Also: I am a fucking idiot who deserves to be publicly shamed for using "that" instead of "who" in the opening title cards. 

I Have Returned and the Like

Remember when I first started this blog/channel last summer and still thought there was a chance that I was going to become this huge YouTube-famous motherfucker rolling around in fame and fortune like a seal in a vat of gelatinous fish oil? Well, it's been over a year now, and I'm still exactly what I was before: shit.

However, I'm not letting something like the personification of feces stop me from trying to exercise my brain on the internet, and it is with that that I return to text/video blogging. I am back, and over the past year my thoughts have become more fervently clear and my negativity more potent and justified. Whether this blog and my YouTube channel merely start to act as a monument to my apparent schizophrenia or I actually garner some kind of following doesn't matter to me so long as I can make videos and type words, so follow along with me if you wish. Actually that'd be nice. Go ahead.